dust

need a space to write. nobody reads it anyways xD

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. – Alexander Graham Bell

you know, sometimes reality sucks
yes i like to dwell in the past
i hate the fact that people are constantly changing
the pace is so fast
the changes are so drastic
i cant even catch up the pace
those who are once close to you
can completely forget you
and what hurts the most
is that you are only needed when people need you
i feel that im just a tool

you know, i really would like to think this way, how convenient.
but in reality, its either you deal with it or go 14th floor
i hate to admit this but i think im self-pitying.
i pitied myself because i think people mistreat me
i pitied myself because i feel that they are missing the good parts in me
i pitied myself because i feel that i give in a lot and sacrifice a lot, always put others in my shoes and believe that none done the same
blaming everyone to my own misery, i think that is what i do best

i soon realize my flaw through the boyfriend
we rarely get into fights, but i was pretty upset that he would rather stay at home (because he's really tired) but not meeting me
i thought i am always the one giving in, always tagging along to his needs
but i didn't know that he too, was trying his best to tolerate my behavior, enduring the silent tantrums i threw at him
and when i gain some conscious (lol), i realized that he actually loves me a lot.

so in the end, im blurred by the thought of being sacrificial. hence the trait of self-pitying.
so who's the fool now (:

i was pretty upset awhile ago because i feel the people around me were no longer who they are.
but yet, it doesn't mean they don't care.
its just that, things...change.
people change due to situations, environments and new commitments
in fact, they don't mean to hurt you at all, and heck, they don't even notice the changes
and who knows that in reality, he or she feels that i'm the one changing
i can't be to sure of it.
so, i came to a conclusion that it is just a process of life, a changing process
and hey, it is not necessarily bad :)
in every cycle of life, people changes, situation changes but the bond is still there, it is always there. just that it is not as significant as before due to the new elements in life.
its the memories that bind us together, yes? :)

a family member of mine told me that the most important thing is to be yourself and be happy
because when you are happy, the world eventually smiles with you.
there are so much things to learn, so many doors to explore
i hope i can learn it bit by bit
and be happier :)

write something

mood: annoyed
music: olivia ong - you and me

i'm pissed.
i hope the new house can complete by the end of September because i cannot stand my area's internet connection.
you know, like you need to click the refresh button for 2045874895 times just to load a page of images. pfft i tell you.
and we are paying the same amount, but other people can happily stream youtube videos without any funny funny error messages.
and the net DIED when im in the midst of my online test. how to forgive you lar you tell me T-T
luckily there's a second attempt.

on a happier note, i found something nice :)
okay i know i'm a slowpoke because Frollic Shoes are already in the market for quite some time but late is better than never lar so :

introducing the Frollic shoes, previously named as Footsie Roll :)

my favorite ballet flats :) and look at the colors !
i don't know whether it's comfy or not but it sure does looks comfy to me :D
but do keep note that these kind of flats are not that durable, compared to other shoes out there.
it's designed to be wore on smooth and flat surfaces. (this also applies to any other ballet flats)
you can roll em and dump it in your bag :D how convenient !
after a long day wearing your killer heels, these foot-savers really comes in handy, no?
btw, these flats are going by RM50 per pair, i think the price will increase after August..
go get one hehe :)

by the way: happy buka puasa to all the malay friends :) (also super slowpoke)

restart

mood: motivated, surprisingly.
music: none atm

Ka-ching !
ditched the old blog and started a new one.
reason1: old blog is old
reason 2: old blog is emo
wanted to try Tumblr but i'm too stupid to learn coding and i'm kinda annoyed by the auto-rotate function for the pictures :/
blogger spoon-feeds me so yeah, back to blogger then.

and hmm :) this feeling.

and the big-spender is trying hard to save some pitiful money to buy herself the camera.
not that when she just splurged on bags, clothes and shoes..

=_= sigh.